Hikikomori
by mikamilk
Summary: Post WWII. Something is wrong with Kiku and a concerned Yao takes it into his own hands to fix things. Kind of linked to ep 49. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hetalia.

**Notes: **This story is not at all historically accurate. Some historical references are made but again, they are _not _accurate. Its just a little story and no offence is intended. I hope you enjoy!

**Hikikomori **

Washington D.C., America. A large conference hall; brightly lit, modern and bustling with nations from across the globe. It was yet another World Meeting.

The host nation, Alfred F. Jones strode with confidence across the room, glancing around him. The conference was yet to begin and people were walking to and fro, greeting one another, finding their seats and settling down. Talk of politics—mixed with other topics of conversation such as scones, pasta, chopin and this and that—buzzed throughout the room. Alfred pushed his glasses up with one finger, a grin placed firmly on his lips. He _loved_ hosting World Meetings, it made him feel more heroic than he usually did. He could feel himself growing bigger and greater each time he was the host nation.

"America!" a voice called, bringing Alfred back from his thoughts.

"Ah, Yao," Alfred said, finding Wang Yao, China standing to his right.

"Where's my seat aru?"

"Your seat? Um…" Alfred scratched his head, scanning over the room for empty seats. "I thought I put you next to Kiku. China and Japan are kinda closely located right? Er Asia?"

Yao sighed at the American's vagueness and lack of attention. "Kiku isn't here aru. You are the host. You should try to keep track of who's attending the World Meetings."

"He isn't?" Alfred exclaimed. "Why not? Then again, I don't think I've seen much of Kiku around lately. I spent quite some time in Japan sorting out the peace treaty and stuff like that. I saw him hanging around then but…"

"Peace treaty," Yao echoed bitterly.

"Look," Alfred said firmly, noting China's displeasure. "I had to do what I had to do. I've even given Okinawa back now and…just take a look around us—we're all moving on. You can't deny some of the stuff Japan did to China wasn't very nice either."

Yao turned away from Alfred, lowering his gaze to the polished floor. What Alfred was saying did hold some truth in it, to a certain degree. His own body still felt exerted and tired, still in recovery. However, there was always a spot in his heart for Kiku, his younger brother, despite things they were going through. They had both lived for some time now, _he_ admittedly much longer than Kiku, and over the years a lot had happened. Still, Yao believed there was something between the two nations that couldn't be severed.

"Anyway, just take that seat there then," Alfred said, indicating an empty seat before walking away to prepare for the conference.

Nodding, Yao made his way over to the circular table, sinking into his seat. Recently, the World Meetings were regaining a liveliness that had been lost while nations recovered after some rough times. Yao considered this a good sign, yet he couldn't take his mind away from Japan. How many meetings had Kiku not attended now? Too many…

"Aiyaa…Maybe I'll go visit him la," Yao mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Ludwig asked, who had just placed himself in the seat next to Yao.

"Aah, aah, nothing. Just talking to myself aru!" Yao assured with a wave of his hand toward the German who nodded and began tending to some papers in his hands.

0-0-0-0-0

"Why did I say 'no'…again?" Honda Kiku whispered toward the paper doors from where he lay in his futon.

Earlier that day, or perhaps it was yesterday, one of his seniors had given him a call to inform him that he was to attend a World Meeting in America. He assumed his senior already knew his answer before he said it. It was the same one he gave to anything asked of him recently—no. Primarily, he had no choice whether he wanted to be present at these meetings or not. He was _meant _to be there, he was _meant _to be working around the clock, no questions asked. He was definitely _not _meant to be confining himself in his room, refusing to see anyone.

"Why can't I just say 'yes'? It shouldn't be that hard should it? How shameful."

Kiku reached a hand toward his katana that lay in its' sheath next to his futon. He ran a finger over the long grip, taking it into both of his hands as though he were about to use it. No, he had no use for this anymore. As he held the Japanese sword, Kiku was reminded of how strong and honourable he had once been. But now his samurai spirit was dying. Even as he sat before Alfred to sign the treaty, he had felt so utterly small and pathetic. All he could do was bow his head down low and agree to whatever was presented to him. He was ridden of guilt and trauma. All he wanted to do was apologise. However, when he finally worked up the courage to do so, America had turned his back on him…

"Wake up," Kiku scolded himself. "Honestly, who wouldn't turn their back?"

Kiku inhaled deeply, smelling the distinct scent of his tatami mats. Things were changing. His katana would be stored away in some display case; tatami mats would be replaced with wooden floorboards; his paper doors done away with in exchange for western hinged ones; his kimono out-fashioned by trendy suits, trousers, skirts and shirts…

Most of all, he could not deal with disgrace, and right now disgrace was almost the only emotion that filled his soul. The honourable action to take would have been to plunge this katana deep into his gut, but if he did such a thing now it wouldn't be doing any good for anyone in this era.

Heaving a deep sigh, Kiku placed his katana back onto the floor, suddenly feeling its' weight grow too heavy to support.

Kiku froze just as he was about to pull his head beneath the heavy quilt when a creaking sound from the hallway caught his attention. He immediately leapt out from under the quilt and held his breath, listening carefully to the approaching footsteps.

_Is it my senior? Come to drag me out to a meeting? _Kiku thought grimacing, but in the back of his mind he knew it wasn't any of his seniors. He recognized these footsteps all too well to mistake them.

Within seconds the paper doors of Kiku's room slid open without warning, revealing a tall Chinese man who looked more than pleased to see Kiku.

"Kiku!" Yao said, smiling happily.

"C-China-san," Kiku acknowledged, gulping. "Er, good evening. May I ask how did you get inside?"

"Oh, I knocked at the front but nobody answered aru," Yao explained. "Then he showed me in through the back aru!"

"He?" Kiku inquired.

Yao nodded, stepping aside as a ball of white fur came scurrying past his legs to jump into Kiku's lap.

"Aaah, Pochi-kun," Kiku said in realization, his arms subconsciously wrapping themselves around the delighted dog.

Yao observed Kiku for a moment as the smaller nation stroked Pochi's smooth coat. Yao then stepped into the room, sliding the door closed behind him. Without the light from the hallway, the room was suddenly dimmer and gloomier than when he first opened the door. Apart from the panting Pochi, wagging his tail in Kiku's lap, there seemed to be no life in this room what-so-ever. There was just Kiku's futon spread out with his katana stretched out like a log next to it.

Yao recalled how Kiku always used to entertain himself by practicing calligraphy or his Ryuteki dragon flute. But Yao could not spot any calligraphy brushes or musical instruments or anything that resembled 'joy' in this room at all. Even Kiku's eyes showed no life in their depths.

"So Kiku," Yao said, still smiling as he dropped himself onto the tatami mats in front of where Kiku was kneeling on his futon. "Have you been well?"

Kiku's hands which were still petting Pochi fell to his sides, Pochi obediently curling up on the quilt beside him. Kiku opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to find his voice. He simply furrowed his eyebrows and cast his eyes to his knees.

"You haven't been coming to any meetings these days aru," Yao continued even though Kiku hadn't answered his previous question. The Japanese was too pale.

Again Kiku gave no reply.

"Are you sick aru? Still healing from the bombings?"

Kiku drew a small breath when Yao made a reference to the bombings. He gulped again, nodding slightly. It wasn't a complete lie, Kiku thought to himself. He was still suffering through some long term effects from the attack. But to be fair, he had probably recuperated enough strength to be attending meetings and working regularly.

"What have you been doing Kiku?" Yao urged.

"I…was just sleeping," Kiku finally answered, the only reasonable explanation he could come up with considering the setting in which Yao had caught him in. What else would he be doing in a futon all by himself?

Yao sighed, shaking his head. "Aiyaa, Kiku. That's a lie aru. You haven't slept in a long time."

"China-san…?" Kiku felt Yao's palm press gently against one cheek as a finger traced under his eyes.

"Have you looked in the mirror?" Yao asked. "Big. Dark. Circles. Aru."

"Aaah…no I haven't," Kiku whispered.

Letting go of Kiku's face, Yao pulled his fingers through Kiku's hair. Black, silky locks just like his own although Kiku's was cut much shorter than his own. Just the same way it always had been.

The two sat in silence for a moment before Kiku spoke again, in a small voice that was barely audible. "China-san…thank you for visiting…Forgive me for my rudeness but I would like to be left alone…"

"I know," Yao replied simply. "Exactly why I came aru."

Kiku stayed silent. He couldn't comprehend what the Chinese man was saying. It was a contradictory and confusing statement. Hell, Kiku couldn't even comprehend why China would even want to see his face.

Kiku was beginning to feel irritated and uncomfortable. This was another reason why he stopped showing himself in public. Lately he was finding himself falling easily into a state of unease in front of others, to the point where he just wanted to disappear.

Yao gazed at Kiku who was lost in his thoughts again and shook his head. Yao then got up off the floor saying, "Zou ba, zou ba!"

Kiku blinked, taking a moment to register the fact that Yao was moving to leave the room. "China-san, where are you going?"

Yao turned to look at Kiku, locking eyes with him as he slid the door open. "Come and see. Stay and know nothing."

Kiku's breath hitched in his throat. He watched Yao exit the room. Pochi also leapt up, shaking his fur out before following Yao curiously.

0-0-0-0-0

Judging by the sounds of the clatter of pots and crockery, Kiku determined Yao must be in the kitchen. Kiku found that he had been right when he found Yao standing in the kitchen over a steaming pot of something.

"China-san, please let me prepare some tea—," Kiku began. However, before he knew it, Yao had his hands on his shoulders, steering him backwards out of the kitchen and into the dining area.

"You just sit right here aru," Yao stated, placing Kiku on a cushion at the low table.

Kiku made to protest but got no further than a pathetic 'China-san' before the kitchen door was slammed shut. Kiku sighed in defeat.

"I guess I'll just wait…and see," Kiku murmured, folding his arms on the wooden surface of the table.

_Come and see…Stay and know nothing…_

Those words Yao had spoken weren't the first time Kiku had had them. Thousands of years ago Yao had said the same words to him. Kiku was still young then, not a child but not quite an adult either. It was just before he had moved away from China. He was aware of the pressures to properly build Japan but he also feared taking on such a role. As a result, he had locked himself up in his room for a century or so. While others gave up on him, viewing him as only a measly little failure of a nation, Yao continued having faith in him.

"_I will be on my own if I move away from you," Kiku muttered. "I could not possibly stand alongside everybody…They are all so tall and strong…"_

"_You have many great qualities aru," Yao assured. "Just be confident la."_

"_I…I can't…"_

"_Japan. There is a world out there aru. It is very, very, very large."_

"…_A world?"_

"_Yes aru. Come and see. Stay and know nothing."_

"Indeed…very, very, very large," Japan murmured to himself.

"What aru?" Yao called, bursting into the dining room.

Kiku looked up. He saw Yao making his way to the low table, baring a large tray in his arms.

"Oh, well I was just reminiscing. Thinking about," Kiku explained, "that before when you had said those words, you helped me discover the world. I am wondering what it may be this time."

Yao beamed, walking around the table so he would be facing Kiku. He then set the tray he was holding proudly down in front of Kiku. "Congee!"

Kiku blinked.

"Congee," Yao repeated. "And tea. And fried bread sticks of course."

"…China-san? Er, congee?" Kiku said, staring blankly at the bowls of rice-porridge and various condiments set out in perfection before him.

"Aiyaa…KIKU!" Yao suddenly blurted.

"Y-YES!" Kiku stammered with wide eyes.

"EAT ARU!"

Kiku drew a short breath, gaping at Yao's fervent eyes before nodding, taking up the ladle.

"I-itadakimasu," Kiku stuttered before hastily taking his first mouthful. Instantly, a wave of nostaligia washed over him as his palate recognized the flavours from his childhood. The congee Yao cooked was very different from his own okayo; different condiments, sauce and texture. It had been a long time since he'd eaten Yao's congee. Admittedly, he preferred his own. But this didn't taste bad, it tasted calming.

Yao watched in silence as Kiku took one mouthful after another. "Careful, you'll burn your tongue aru," Yao commented, chuckling at the pace Kiku was wolfing down the dish.

"Oh yes," Kiku said, his cheeks flushing. He carefully set his ladle down and took a sip of his tea. He then set the tea back down, bowing his head. "China-san, I appear to have caused you a lot of trouble and concern due to my selfishness and lack of competency and—"

Yao frowned, saddened by the way Kiku was rambling on with his usual lengthy apologies. Kiku hadn't been exactly the socialite of the family, but he had grown more and more distant over time to the point where it was almost as though they were strangers.

"—China-san I…"

"_Kiku_!" Yao interjected, his voice raised in frustration.

"Y-Yes?" Kiku gulped.

"Will you cut it out with the 'China-san' crap already aru?" Yao huffed.

"Oh, er, of course. Sorry if I had bothered you by calling you that…" Japan trailed off. "What would you prefer instead?"

Yao closed his eyes. "Something more, hmm, friendly maybe?"

"Friendly…" Kiku picked up his tea again, staring into the small round cup as though the answer might be swirling in amongst the tea-leaves. Were they even friends? Kiku wondered. When he last checked, they had been enemies…

Yao's frown deepened as Kiku continued staring hard into his teacup. Suddenly, a mischievous grin played across Yao's lips.

"Kiku?"

"…yes—HUUUH?" Kiku jolted. One moment he had been sitting across from Yao, the next Yao was leaping over his head.

"Haaa!" Yao cried, aiming a kick at Kiku's back.

However, Kiku swiftly took hold of Yao's calf, twisting his body in a motion that caused Yao to fall to the ground, held down firmly face down.

Kiku remained knelt closely beside Yao for a few moments, pushing down slowly on Yao's arm, stretching his flexible shoulder joint. Just as the joint was pulled to its maximum before snapping, Yao tapped the tatami mats to indicate to Kiku he could not take anymore.

Kiku sighed, loosening his grip as Yao sat upright, brushing his hair over his shoulder.

"Not bad," Yao commented.

"…thank you," Kiku replied, arranging himself back on the cushion again. "You took me by surprise."

"Oh? I don't recall ever having given you a warning," Yao stated. "You are still very alert. I'm proud of my Di di."

"Oh thank you indee…What?" Kiku had been listening calmly until his heart skipped a beat when Yao had casually called him 'Di di'. "W-w-why so—"

"What's the matter aru? You are my Di di are you not?" Yao said.

"I-I-I guess…" Kiku stammered.

"And? What does that make me?" Yao pressed, leaning forward.

"A-Aah…" Kiku shrunk back, his cheeks burning yet again.

"Yes?"

"Ni…ahh…" Kiku brought a hand to cover his mouth, Yao leaning further forward.

"What was that aru?"

"…mmm…Ni ni…" Kiku finally whispered in horror.

"What was that?"

"Oh, I-I-I give up," Kiku burst. "You are…Ni ni."

A large smile spread across Yao's face, hearing the word he was looking for finally come out of Kiku's mouth. He then slowly brought his arms around Kiku's shoulders, one hand over Kiku's head and the other around his back.

"Ni ni?" Kiku said again, tensing slightly.

"You haven't changed," Yao said softly. "You never liked hugs aru."

"No, well I don't dislike er hugs. I just don't feel comfortable, I—"

"Yes, yes aru," Yao laughed. "You still need to work on loosening up sometimes la. Especially when you are with me. I'm your Ni ni, no need to be so formal and masked."

"Yes but…" Kiku hesitated. "You raised me and I will never be able to repay you for it. Not only that, despite our past we have faced against each other in many conflicts over the years. How can I ever feel like a brother to you again?"

Yao smiled, still not letting go of Kiku. "Many things happen aru. But do not forget this, you are always my family. Do you remember the first thing you said to me?"

"'Hello China-san, where the sun falls. I am Japan where the sun rises'."

"Er correct aru," Yao said. "Because the sun sets, it is able to rise again. And because it rises, it is able to fall. It is a circle and this circle is what joins us together aru."

Kiku thought for a moment. What Yao had said seemed to have no apparent logic behind it. Then again, that was how he always was. Deciding to not delve into the details, Kiku nodded into Yao's shoulder. "I suppose you are right." Kiku then timidly brought his arms up around Yao's back, giving a small squeeze as a single tear slid down his cheek. "Thank you Ni ni…"

0-0-0-0-0

Later in the week, Kiku was still wrapped up safely in his futon. Before Yao left the other night, he had made Kiku promise that he would stop detaching himself from the outside world. So, to honour their promise, Kiku had picked up his phone and invited France to come and visit. That appointment was today.

Kiku swallowed hard as he heard a knock at the door. He was supposed to have already dressed and prepared himself to greet Francis, but he had still not left his futon.

"Oooi Japan, come out now. Monsieur Francis has arrived," Kiku's senior's voice called through the closed door.

A chill ran down Kiku's spine. "No, I don't want to," Kiku sniffed. "I'm just going to be forced to sign another unreasonable treaty." He paused. "And please stop calling me in such a westernized style."

The man at the door huffed. "Everyone is just going to make fun of you if you keep hiding away in your house like this."

"I said I don't want to," Kiku whined, ducking his head further under the large quilt.

Japan's senior gave a long sigh, realizing that the nation had no intention of coming out. However, he had kept France waiting for too long already, he really needed to do something to fix this _now_. He was acutely aware of how stubborn Japan was, but he also knew there were two things Kiku could not resist—good food and cute fluffy creatures. That was it.

Kiku's senior gave a feigned sigh of sheer disappointment, loud enough to be heard through the door. "Oh what a shame. Monsieur Francis has brought along the most adorable little cat with him but…"

The man bit his lip, waiting for Japan's response. To his triumph, a moment later the door slid open a crack, Kiku's frightened eyes peering through the gap.

"Oh good," Japan's senior said. "Hurry now, Monsieur Francis is waiti—"

"Please, just let the cat through?" Kiku cut in.

Kiku's senior, almost pushed over the edge with Kiku's lack of cooperation grudgingly allowed Kiku to stay in his room with France's cat on one condition—that in 15 minutes he would be ready and presentable for Monsieur Francis.

Kiku reluctantly accepted the deal. He was still trying to think of an excuse to avoid meeting the Frenchman while stroking said Frenchman's cat. But he knew just as well as anyone that he wasn't going to get out of this one. And more importantly, Yao had reminded him of the myriad possibilities that existed if he just opened his doors to others.

"I did promise Ni ni after all," Kiku murmured. He then got up and crossed the room, picking up a suit he had left out to wear. "I owe him this at the least."

_fin_


End file.
